Happy Wednesday, hope everyone is well as we find ourselves in the colder moments of winter. This week I wanted to share my thoughts on being present and a memorable story when I visited my son in Berlin. I hope you are having a wonderful week. Gut Sein! — Stephen
WEEKLY ESSAY:
“Don’t think about the past. Just be here now. Don’t think about the future. Just be here now.”
— Ram Dass
In November 2018, I found myself visiting my son who was coming to the end of his semester abroad in Berlin, Germany. I was excited to see him and looking forward to travel to Berlin for the first time.
For the last night of my stay, we decided to eat at a local Italian restaurant in the heart of the city. We both loved Italian food which was no surprise given my Italian heritage. The restaurant was busy but we were able to sit down without delay at a table for two. The male waiters, dressed in black pants, black shoes and white button down shirts, busily shuttled in and out of the noisy kitchen while the diners stay pre-occupied in their conversations as their aromatic plates were delivered.
The floor was constructed of large brick colored tiles while the walls were beige in color and stucco in texture. Each table with its dark colored wooden chairs was draped in white table cloths and red cloth napkins perched in attention while green bottles of olive oil and vinegar completed the setting. Even though we were in Berlin, photos and colorful paintings of Italy and its hill ladened landscapes and well known attractions in Rome adorned the walls. We might have been in Berlin, but it could have been an Italian restaurant anywhere in the United States. As the famous Italian movie director Federico Fellini once said: “Life is a combination of magic and pasta,” and I couldn’t agree more with such wisdom even while in the land of schnitzel and beer.
While enjoying our pizza and pasta, I mentioned to my son that I was thinking of getting my first tattoo. He asked me for more specifics. I told him that I have been working a lot on being more present in my life and how meditation has been a great help in achieving that for the past couple of years. He asked me if I had in mind a picture or something and its location. I said that I had something very specific in mind.
I shared with him that I was reading the 1971 spiritual classic by Ram Dass “Be Here Now” and how meaningful it was to me. I told him of the story of how Richard Alpert, a Harvard professor, became part of the 60’s counter culture movement with his former academic colleague Timothy O’Leary and as a result of his psychedelic mystical and transcendental experiences became known as Ram Dass, the beloved spiritual teacher, psychologist and author. I mentioned that my tattoo would be those simple but powerful three words and I wanted them to serve as a daily reminder of the importance of being present in my life.
He looked at me while listening intently and then said “well then, you should get it here in Berlin before you leave.” I quickly objected saying I am not sure I wanted to get my first tattoo in a foreign country without knowing the particular place for safety reasons. My mind filled with images of tattoo parlors darkly lit with flickering lightbulbs dangling from the ceiling as burly older men with long hair and gray tinged beards stoically worked on their art while the buzzing of their ink pens meticulously left their permanent marks on their grimacing subjects. Finding a reputable parlor in Berlin with no planning or knowledge of the local offerings was a task that didn’t seem within reach during my remaining hours in Germany’s historic capital.
My son quickly pulled out his phone and within minutes, he turned his iPhone to face me and said “Here, here is one, and it has over 200 positive reviews on Google and its about a 20 minute walk from right here.” I leaned in and focused my eyes on the fruit of his millennial based online research. I was intrigued since if it had over 200 positive reviews, it can’t be that bad. He then subtlety said, “Look at it this way, it would be a great story and experience for us to have together.” He knew that was the parental hook and I took the bait. I was in.
After finishing our dinner, we left the restaurant and began to walk to the parlor. After a quick stop at a local wirtshaus for some liquid courage, we arrived and walked in the white filled space with its crystal chandeliers and leather chairs and we approached the clear glass rectangular counter. We told the manager behind the counter of my interest and specifics. Before I knew it, he worked through a design on his computer and I found myself with an artist in a room that was more similar to an examination room found in a doctor’s office than the dark and dingy tattoo parlors held in my mind.
The young artist greeted me and assured me with a sweet giggle that all would be fine since she just gave her 70 year old grandmother her first tattoo last week. I reluctantly nodded and laid down on the table with my left arm outstretched. The burning-like sensation painstakingly moved from letter to letter until it was complete. Little did I know that the place I selected on my arm was one of the most painful areas to get tattooed but as Nietzsche once said there is “no price too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” These words would serve as my own “owning” of myself by not getting caught up with the regrets of the past or worries of the future. I was learning that those two common practices are sure fire methods for self made suffering. In the end, the words “Be Here Now” were indelibly inked on my arm for remainder of my lifetime with no regrets.
Now “being present” is extremely common in today’s vocabulary. In fact, if you search “being present” in Amazon, over 50,000 book titles show up. That is a lot of “presence” to get a handle on and can be quite overwhelming especially if one is just beginning to value the practice of mindfulness. The interesting thing is that it is just that… a practice. A skill that if one puts in the devoted time, focus and effort consistently, one will train and develop his or her mind to be less reactive and more aware. It is something available to all and not reserved for only the pious or select few.
In his earliest teachings, the Buddha extolled the virtue of being here now and how it can be attained:
Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The future has not yet come.
Looking deeply at life as it is
In the very here and now,
The practitioner dwells
In stability and freedom.
The Buddha could have referred to the “man” or “person” who dwells but he didn’t. Instead, he is said to have used the word “practitioner.” The verb “practice” is defined by Webster’s as “to perform or work at repeatedly so as to become proficient.” It is something that must be worked at and tended to on a consistent basis similar to a gardener tending to his garden. Only then can the fruits of his labor be enjoyed. In this case, practice doesn’t guarantee perfect, but like everything else in life, it does guarantee improvement. It turns out that to be mindful or present is a skill that we can all develop if we simply “practice.” While I still consider myself a novice, “being here now” has changed my outlook but most importantly how I experience (and not automatically react to) the world around me.
So how can we become more present without donning a robe and meditating in the forests of Thailand or the mountains in Tibet? Specifically, how can we achieve more presence in our lives in the hectic and noise riddled modern world we navigate? Just like books, there are countless online articles at the tip of your Google search box that would offer many insights and suggestions, however, the following are some that I have found useful.
Practice Mindfulness. Taking a few minutes each day to meditate and observe my thoughts and feelings without judgment or attachment.
Practice Gratitude. Acknowledging what I am are grateful for (however small) creating a mindset of appreciation instead of expectation.
Practice Appreciation of Nature’s Beauty. Spending time outdoors whether its a walk in my local neighborhood or a hike at a local park or trail and appreciating the beauty of nature experienced through my senses.
Practice Minimizing Distractions. Reducing distractions from my digital life by scheduling breaks from social media or email during the day or week.
Practice Curiosity. Asking questions when spending time with the ones in my life cultivating the skill of active listening and a curious mind.
As said, being present is a gift to be experienced by all. It is a critical step on the Knowing Road, which leads to the greater gift of amplifying the experience of being alive. If we are constantly trapped in the past or worried about what lies ahead in our future, our ability to experience the “now” is either eliminated or at a minimum lessened. It is as if we are living life with our eyes blind or ears deafened. As Joseph Campbell once said:
“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance within our innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”
For myself, being here now is simply creating the necessary condition to experience such rapture when it arises. With that in mind, I look to the words on my arm and continue to practice as I walk with those around me “home.”
Thought: What are the ways that help you be more present in your life?
Do: Take a “meditative” walk and focus on your in and out breath with each step. Observe and take notice what you see and experience.
QUICK HITS:
Is this A Dream or Am I In the Matrix? The National Science Foundation recently reported that researchers achieved two-way communication with lucidly dreaming people, creating a new method for studying the human mind that might lead to innovative ways of learning and problem-solving. For those unfamiliar, lucid dreaming is when you are conscious as to your thoughts and actions while experiencing REM Sleep (i.e. dreaming). It is a fascinating area in further understanding the nature of our dreams and consciousness. Hello Neo, is that you?
Cheese, It Does the Body Good! Finally some good news for those cheese lovers among us. In a meta-analysis of 37 studies, researchers have found that overall the consumption of cheese has a neutral effect on weight gain, and in fact may promote the building of more muscle mass. At worst, cheese is neutral compared to other fat inducing and unhealthy processed and sugary foods that we consume on a regular basis. Pass the Wisconsin Cheddar please…and take some time to read Gilad Edelman’s well summarized article in Wired found here.
Money and Happiness are Strange Bed Fellows. Most people have heard of the often quoted statistic that once someone earns $75,000 a year their happiness flattens and doesn’t really increase with more money. Unfortunately, a recent study published in the Proceedings for the National Academy of Sciences is showing that the amount is now increased to $85,000 a year and in fact, money can bring you a greater opportunity for happiness if you spend it toward experiences or in alignment with your values. So it turns out that beyond your basic needs, money itself doesn’t do it, but how you spend it is what really counts. For a summary of the report, Hillary Hoffower does so for Insider in her recent article.
WEEKLY RECOMMENDATION:
Is it possible that the earliest religious Greek practitioners and early Christians used psychedelics to experience their oneness with God? While a number of books have explored this controversial topic, Brian Muraresku investigates this through the lens of a Classicist’s academic rigor combined with 21st century technology told with a Dan Brown like vivid storytelling in his New York Times Best Selling book “The Immortality Key: The Secret History of the Religion with No Name.” It is an eye-opening narrative of the use of death ritual beers and spiked wines in the ancient world in religious rituals, and the possibility that the original Eucharist was psychoactive in origin. With the growing and positive clinical research in the area of psychedelics to treat depression, PTSD and other mental disorders, it is a well timed book to explore the value of these sacred plant-based medicines for our personal healing and quest to more deeply understand our place with the universe.
Until the next issue, stay warm and connected. See you down the “road.” All feedback, comments, and suggestions are always welcomed.
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